Personal growth and my blog

May 26, 2009

Hi everyone! I’ve been away the past week or so because my laptop broke, and I need to get it fixed. This has given me time to think a little bit more about the direction of this blog, and I’ve decided to change the format a little bit due to changes that have happened that have allowed me to refocus the intent of this blog.

Changes to the Blog
Originally the intent of this blog was to showcase and document my 4th year collection. Now that 4th year is looming just a couple short months away, I want to refocus the blog to that original goal. There are things that I am passionate about, but I feel like I have lost the personal angle I want to convey from this blog. I felt as if I was forcing an identity through the facets of fashion I was interested in, rather than developing my identity through creative self exploration, which was what I had wanted.

I feel that the best way for me to learn and grow is to be creative while still maintaining my thirst for knowledge and research. This I think will be best done through fewer posts a week so that I can focus on my creative energy rather than editing and presentation for this blog. I will be working with 3 regular posts a week that deal with creative inspiration and innovation (Inspired!), theories and thoughts on topics about self, fashion, creativity, all from a personal angle (Piece of My Mind), and a visual recount of my week through my sketchbook and finished work (The Showcase), as well as posts documenting the progress and process of developing my 4th year collection (more about that in the next post).

Part of the Journey
This change in blogging came through as I started blogging, while not connecting with my intent and true self. What led me to this was a change in my actual life. The last week I was faced with feelings of self-doubt, sadness, and failure. I consider myself to be an optimistic person with a healthy outlook on life. I am excited and passionate about the future and my work. However, not placing as a finalist in a design contest last week was the trigger for me to doubt myself. Added to that, what I thought was my first freelance job turned out to be a bust. And I started to feel undervalued at my part-time job. All 3 events happened within a week, all as a result of me having certain expectations that fell short. Not only that, but events in my personal life coincided that made me feel like a failure.

It took a few days before this dark mood fully took control, but with some help, it became the catalyst for me to keep growing.

In fashion, we are particularly susceptible to feelings of failure, self doubt, and detachment, as with other creative fields. It is not always easy. But I accept that it is a part of the journey. I will not always place first, I will not always place at all, I will not always know I’m doing, and I will need to work my way up. Most of all, I had to finally deal with the fact that I cannot settle with the talent that I already have and just practice and get better at it – I have to really get down and gritty by pushing my boundaries and growing creatively.

This morning, I took a look at the 30 design contest finalists and realized what they had that I lacked. I took notes, and I felt a lot better about not making it in, because I did in fact settle with my design entry. I received great feedback from my boss about the work I have done for his business. I also booked my trip to London for September, after debating with myself back and forth for months about whether or not I should actually go. After learning my lesson, I realized that I look too much at possibility, and not enough at how to make those possibilities realities.

If my hard drive gets erased, I will be fine with it. My work will be cleansed and I get to start with a blank canvas and portfolio.

The life of a designer requires careful balance, in my opinion. For me, at least. Making blogging my central focus from the start hinders my ability to grow creatively, so I am taking a step back and refocusing to fewer posts, with more personal content. I’m sure there are people who are interested in the elusive world of a design student, from someone who actually cares enough to write about it. If not, then at least I have fun doing this and learning from it.


2 Responses to “Personal growth and my blog”

  1. Danielle Says:

    Annching, well done on all the work you are putting into Fashion 2.0. I have to work through discouragement myself lately. The most important thing is you’re aware of it and being positive despite the setbacks. I am really looking forward to seeing your fourth year projects!

  2. Annching Says:

    Thank you for the encouragement, Danielle. I am definitely trying to be positive about it, and I think its helping a lot. I always look forward to seeing what you are up to.

    As for me, I can’t wait to blog about my 4th year projects! 🙂

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